Showing posts with label Tips: Features. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tips: Features. Show all posts

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A primer for writing football preview stories

Preview stories can take many forms and be presented in all media forms. They can be published online, in print, in a videocast, in a separate special section � or they can integrate several of these forms. Regardless the form, readers love' em. These previews can address trends or they can focus on a feature angle. Or previews can be offered in capsule form. There is no single way to write a preview story, although many include the same key components. Check out the stories below for inspiration as you develop preview stories for your own college teams in the coming weeks.

� Here is a link to the Orlando Sentinel's always creative approach to football coverage. (Sorry, but I am biased here, rooting for my old newspaper. But this is truly a creative approach.)
� The Rocky Mountain News packages a series of capsules that focus on key players and which include the previous season's playoff results. The San Francisco Chronicle takes a more bare bones approach to previewing some prep football conferences, briefly offering strengths, weaknesses and notes.
� Bloggers like The Mountain Top and the Big West Conference Connection have started previewing the Big East and Big West football conference teams, respectively. An Eastern Carolina University football blog previews the Pirates and their schedule. Some bloggers, though, spend more time on their opinions rather than on reporting trends, stats and news. Commentary can certainly be riveting, but save these pieces, or blog posts, until after the facts are cited.
�The Chicago Tribune, which runs a terrific prep sports website, previews the Big Ten conference football season. These writers find a feature angle and then address the same six questions at the end of each preview that includes questions such as "Northwestern will contend for the Big Ten title if ..." and "In a word, the schedule can be described as ..."
� Rivals.com previews conferences, rather than teams, by focusing on key story lines, top players by position, and the top coaches. They also offer a preseason all-conference team. In addition, Rivals.com also writes previews that focus on the top 10 freshmen, top assistant coaches, and the top junior college players who have transferred to universities.
� Some newspapers, like the Statesboro Herald in football-crazy Georgia, layer their coverage with videocast previews.
� The Arizona Republic offers its previews in smaller capsules.
� Here are some football previews on the Atlantic Coast Conference.
� Here is a prep football preview in Tennessee's Daily News Journal. My hometown newspaper, the Charleston Times-Courier, has started to preview local football teams in east central Illinois. (Go Trojans!)
� Yahoo previews the NFL by touring training camps.
� Here is College Football Poll's expansive preview of all major conferences and individual award candidates.

Read as many previews as possible in order to find inspiration, transforming these ideas in your own sections. Plagiarism, of course, is an unpardonable sin of journalism. But you can borrow others' ideas in order to recreate them as your own. See an approach you like? Use it in your own packaging and reporting. Like poets and novelists, journalists need to read others' work.

Feel free to provide links to other football preview stories below in the comments section. Good luck.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Writing sports profiles

People are complex. So writing about their lives should not be easy. Too often, sports reporters go out, speak with a coach or player for 20-30 minutes (perhaps an hour), return to the office and write. Sometimes, the story also includes a quote or two from another player or coach. Maybe some stats are tossed in. Sports profiles take much more effort than that. They are not easy to write, but you can get better over time if you consider some of the points below. Hope they help.

Conflict � In all good stories, a main character wants something but someone or some thing, stands in the way. Unlike fiction, in these sports profiles the conflict does not always need to be resolved. Check out the story on Jake Scott, an award-winning story by Dave Hyde. Conflicts are usually resolved in stories that deal with events that took place in the past. There is nothing wrong with addressing an ongoing challenge; however, you do need to find the main conflict for most profile pieces. (Do not elevate conflicts that are not really there, nor should you create melodramatic scenes. Instead, spend some time interviewing, observing and researching until you see where the story begins. Keep in mind, some papers are just looking for a short overview profile piece. These are usually not as interesting, but readers do like some of these shorter takes on athletes, nonetheless.)

News angle � Determine the reason you are writing a story on this person. Why this person, and why now? Perhaps, this person is being profiled because of a recent athletic performance or because of a recent hiring. Perhaps, this person is connected to an anniversary of an event (like he 1980 Olympic hockey gold medal game) or an amazing season (like the 1972 Dolphins, the last undefeated NFL team.) Perhaps, someone just died, so you are writing a more involved obituary, one that runs days or weeks after the actual death. Either way, make sure a reason is clearly stated somewhere in this story.

Setting � Put the person in a place, a physical location, whenever possible. Set the scene early, putting the main character in a certain place. Sometimes, you can describe the setting before you describe the profiled person, especially when the setting takes on the role as character. That�s the case in Pamela Colloff�s terrific story on a fired women�s basketball coach, entitled �She�s Here. She�s Queer. She�s Fired� that was originally published in Texas Monthly. (This piece is one of many superb sports stories also published in the Best Sportswriting 2006). The town, whose morals and beliefs, clash with those of local girls coach, is introduced in the beginning of the story.

IN BLOOMBURG THERE ISN�T A STOP SIGN, or even a blinking yellow light, at the center of town�just a bend in a winding two-lane road that meanders through the woods toward the Arkansas state line. Every now and then a logging truck piled high with pulpwood rumbles by on its way to the paper mill, scattering twigs and pine needles onto the blacktop below. Otherwise the town is quiet. There is no Dairy Queen, or any diversions to speak of; the closest movie theater is thirty miles away, in Texarkana. Even Bloomburg�s 1A high school is too small and too poor to have its own football team. But every November, when teenagers scrawl �Go Wildcats!� in white shoe polish on the back windows of their pickups, the boys� and girls� varsity basketball teams try to make the town proud.

Bloomburg never had much to brag about until six years ago, when the school district hired a young coach out of Arkansas named Merry Stephens. She was the first female coach in Bloomburg history, and also one of its toughest. When just seven girls tried out for the Lady Wildcats during her first year in Bloomburg, Stephens had them practice by playing against the boys. If they were used to making fifty layups at practice, she told them to do twice as many. It wasn�t long before the Lady Wildcats started winning. Stephens led the team to the state playoffs three times, and in 2004, when the team had grown to 25 players, the Lady Wildcats made it all the way to the final four. �Half the town went with them,� said one parent of the six-hour drive to Georgetown, just north of Austin. �We�d never had a team do so well.� The Lady Wildcats didn�t win the championship, but they were welcomed back as heroes. When the team�s bus pulled into town, people stood on their porches and cheered, and the volunteer fire department led an impromptu parade.

But even after the local Wal-Mart named Stephens Teacher of the Year and the district had chosen her as its Coach of the Year no fewer than three times, many residents felt uneasy about her. Stephens, it was rumored, was a lesbian. And in an area where ministers preach against homosexuality from the pulpit and tracts denouncing the theory of evolution sit next to cash registers in convenience stores, Stephens� sexual orientation was not an issue that most residents of Bloomburg, or its school board, could overlook. In December, just nine months after the Lady Wildcats had gone to the finals, Stephens was abruptly put on leave. The woman she lived with, a teacher�s aide and school bus driver named Sheila Dunlap, was dismissed. The board�s actions made this otherwise placid town of 374 people erupt in controversy and became the central issue of the school board election in May. �It�s divided this town,� said history teacher Thresha Jones. �You�ve got people who feel that Merry and Sheila were done wrong. And then you�ve got people who think that what the school board did was the only right thing to do."

Setting is not always so significant, but putting a person in a place allows the reader to follow more easily, so take some notes on the places you go and ask for details from those involved if you could not be there or if the event happened months or years ago.

Character � Your main character (or protagonist) needs to be a fully developed person, a person literary critics would call dynamic, or complex � not flat and simple. Show this person through actions, physical description, dialogue, commentary by others and by revealing this person�s thoughts. Do not paint this person as all good or all bad. We are all illogical, inconsistent people. There�s nothing wrong with revealing this, if these points are relevant. Show this person. Speak to as many people as possible to learn about this person. Do not limit your perspective by only interviewing the person to be profiled. Consider the opening for another fine piece, this one by Pat Jordan entitled �The Magician� that focuses on a legendary pool player who is now down on his luck.

At midnight on a bitterly cold January 15 the lobby of the Executive West Hotel near the Louisville, Kentucky, airport was crowded with men and a few women, all waiting anxiously for the guest of honor.
A man in a yellow windbreaker came through the front door and walked toward the registration desk. A murmur rose from the crowd. Everyone stared at him, a small brown man with slitlike eyes, a wispy Fu Manchu moustache, and no front teeth. He wore a soiled T-shirt and wrinkled, baggy jeans. He moved hunched over, his eyes lowered.

People clustered around him. Men flipped open their cell phones and called their friends to say "He's here!" They introduced him to their girlfriends. The man looked embarrassed. Another man thrust his cell phone at him and said, "Please say hello to my son; he's been waiting up all night." The small man mumbled a few words in broken English. Then the hotel clerk asked him his name. He said, "Reyes." Someone called out, "Just put down 'the Magician.'"


Write with authority � Learn so much about this person that you can tell this story like an omniscient narrator, offering major events and little details related to the story�s main focus. Profile stories take more time and effort than most other sports stories. You can�t just go out and speak to a person or two and fire off a profile story � at least, not one worth reading. Do the proper reporting.

Voice � Yes, reporters can have a voice. Like a column, profile stories can include commentary and insights from the author. But do not interject yourself into the story too much. Offer subtle, illuminating points. Unlike a column, a profile story is not about you. Perhaps, the voice is the person being profiled, where you tell the story through their eyes, or from the perspective of this person�s 10-year-old sister, if that POV is relevant. Do not be afraid to take chances.

Here are a few more points to consider
Make sure the person profiled is acting, or doing, something that propels the overall story. Action means dialogue as well, but it does not mean someone talking about someone else. Quotes can from key people are certainly necessary, but they do not propel the story.
The person should be going somewhere, either on the field or off. The person may be working to go the state track and field meet, earning spot on an NFL team or going to the Olympics. Off the field, the person may be going off to war, going to therapy, or going to places in order to be a preacher. In the meantime, this person may be also going to a low-paying job and living in a weekly rental to get by, or going to a doctor to fix some ailment. But, overall, the person has a goal and place where they want to be.
Be fair. But that does not mean you have to be neutral in these profiles. Look at all sides to any related issues. If a coach has been vilified in the press or on a web site�s fan forum, address those points, even if they were unfair. You can reveal that these comments were unfair through solid reporting. You also need to address aspects of this person�s life that do not reflect favorable upon him. If a person is a known alcoholic, ask this person how she overcomes that handicap each day. If this is not well known, ask if the coach would be willing to share her thoughts on this topic. We do not want skewer people for their faults, so we need to be empathetic in dealing with them. We do, however, want to make sure and address events and moments that serve only to embarrass someone. But there are some aspects of a person�s life that need to be included because they are known or significant. Make sure you have a good reason for using them (and have an honest conversation with this person about your reasons as well.)
Get as much access as possible. Let this person know you would like to hang out at practice, attend meetings and speak with other people in their lives. This way, this person will not get worried when he sees you so often. You might also get some suggestions for new story angles.
Hang out. Watch practices, attend meetings, follow the person across campus, go to lunch with him. Observe and take some notes, even if you can only do so mentally (after all, you should not always be talking notes while other are eating. They�ll feel less comfortable. Write down your observations after lunch.
Use a tape recorder. Nobody can record every detail from a lengthy conversation, so buy a digital recorder and let it roll. Make sure you let people know you will be using this. If they feel uncomfortable, tell the you just want to make sure you want to get the facts right, which is the truth.
Be tenacious, patient and curious. These traits will send you in more directions than you have time, and many paths will lead to amazing stories, news and information.
Piece together scenes. Listen for stories from others, verify them and then tell them in a more concise, compelling manner. Put the reader in the moment based upon the detail offered by your sources.

Here�s an example of a scene pieced together by Kurt Streeter for his wonderful piece on a 10-year-old girl that was part of a 5-part series in the Los Angeles Times.

Do girls box? she asked, turning to her father one evening. Is it OK for girls to box?

Well, yeah, mija, they do, he answered. Sure, it's OK for girls to box.

They were sitting on the bed in his cramped apartment, faces lit by a flickering TV, eating pizza, watching a pro boxing match. Seniesa loved to watch fights with him, loved the way boxers settled their differences, using fists to express what was inside. She was just a kid, a girl enthralled with a man's sport, but she wanted to express herself like that.

Dad? Can I box? Can I learn how to box?

Joe Estrada was shocked, he would remember afterward, but he didn't want to let his daughter down, not with what they had been through. Yeah, he said, eyes still on the TV. Sure, mija, you can do that, if you really want to. I'll take you to a gym in a couple of days. I promise.

He didn't mean it. Boxing wasn't for girls. Not for his girl, a pretty one with thin bones, a delicate nose and rosy lips. He had lived by his fists, both on the streets and in prison. All he wanted was to protect her. For weeks, he did nothing to make his promise real.

But she grew adamant. She read a book about Muhammad Ali, got a poster of him and tacked it to her wall. She admired his confidence, the way he would not back down, just like her father, she would proudly say, and the way Ali had grown up, just as she had � an outsider looking in. She wanted to become a champion boxer, bold and strong, just like Ali.

Besides, if her father trained her, he would be with her, no matter what. Both needed that, desperately. They needed it to save each other.

The more he put off boxing, the more she pressed.

Finally, guilt got him. One Monday afternoon, he drove her to a gym on a busy street in East L.A. When he parked, she sprinted from the van to the entrance. They walked inside, unsure what was next.

Do you train kids here? Joe asked.

The manager looked down at Seniesa, leaning against her father's side. How old is she? he asked.

Eight, Joe said. Almost 9.

She's too small, the manager said. We'll train her, when she's 13.

She walked from the gym with her head down. Joe tried to console her, but actually he couldn't have been happier. Good, he thought, that's the end of this boxing thing. Then, inside his van, he looked at her and saw her staring out the window.

What's wrong, mama? he asked.

She couldn't speak. Tears filled her eyes.

It hit him then how much this meant, how badly she just wanted the chance to step inside a ring and put gloves on and let go.

A few days later, deciding to try once more, he took her to a gym near her home where a group of boy boxers trained.


Emphasize story. Have a beginning, middle and end. Save inverted pyramid for breaking news stories. You can write a story narratively, from beginning to end, you can offer a series of stories that lead to the end, or you can insert asides and commentary in the middle of a longer narrative story. There are many ways to tell a story. Read other great stories for ideas.

Writing a profile story is something that can be done over time while you work a beat through a season. You do not have to reserve a chunk of time to write these stories, but you do need to spend time reporting and developing the story. Do not judge yourself against the stories, like those cited here or those in the Best Sportswriting series. But yo should aspire to get to that level someday, if you want to be among the best. Lear as much as you can from these terrific pieces and always try to be better than you were on your last story. Good luck.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Don�t just wing it: Squeeze in some time to develop stories on bunts, picks-and-rolls and other sports strategies

USA Today recently posted a great article on the Wing-T offense in football, a formation that relies on misdirection and deception. This formation is especially helpful for smaller programs that do not have the size or strength on the front lines, although this formation is effective for programs of all sizes. More than 16 percent of all state champs in 2006 implemented the Wing-T, so named because the formation loosely resembles a T. To learn more about the strategies and intricacies of the Wing T, click here.

Readers love stories that help explain strategies, formations, and techniques. For example, you could write a story on how teams effectively implement the suicide squeeze in baseball, the triangle offense in soccer, or the pick-and-roll in basketball. That means you need to talk with as many coaches as possible to fully understand the nuances of these plays � and so you can get many perspectives. Not every coach runs the same play or offense the same way. In addition, make sure you also find compelling stories that reveal how the plays have worked, otherwise your story may read more like a training manual than a news story. Stories keep readers reading.

Also, do the research to gather statistics that help support your points, if possible, just as USA Today sports writer Jeff Zillgitt did in �The Wing-T offense: Football�s shell game.�

Some examples:

�An American Football Monthly survey of 2006 state champions revealed 16.8% of the respondents use the Wing-T as their base offense.�

�Goncharoff, who is 81-7 since 2000 and has won five of the past six Washington 3A state titles, loves the deception.�

�Few Wing-T teams have enjoyed as much recent success as Bellevue. The Wolverines started running the Wing-T in 1980 and won their first state title in 1982. In 2004 they ended the 151-game winning streak of then-USA TODAY No. 1 De La Salle (Concord, Calif.), rushing for 463 yards and not attempting a pass. In 2005, Bellevue won 30-16 against then-No. 3 Long Beach (Calif.) Poly.�

Make sure you also explain the strategy or play simply so even non-sports fanatics will understand how it works. Remember, someone new reads the sports pages every day. Help them to understand as well.

Here�s the simple break down on the Wing-T, as offered by Zillgit: �A basic Bellevue Wing-T play goes like this: The quarterback hands the ball off to the fullback. Or does he? He hands the ball to the running back. Or does he? He gives the ball to the wingback, positioned 1 yard off and 1 yard behind the tight end. Or does he? All four backs can be used as ball carriers, blockers or for deception.�

Make sure you also plan visuals and other ancillary elements to go along with your story, depending if it runs in print or online. That means scheduling pictures, working with graphic artists, and capturing video or audio. The USA Today story offers five video clips that help show the Wing-T in action. More and more, journalism merges words, video and audio (each has its distinct advantage.) Print allows for easier explanation of complex issues, video offers visuals that cannot always translate into words, and audio allows reader�s to hear inflections and speech patterns (and to hear the sounds of the game.)

Take some time when you develop story ideas like this, otherwise your final product might get lost among other items in print or online.

Give this a try: You�ll find you�ll also learn much more about sports. Good luck.

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Crafting profiles when the main character won't speak

Joe DiMaggio stood alone in his restaurant, staring out a bay window at the San Francisco wharf where tourists watched the fishermen repair their nets. One pretty blue-eyed blonde brushed her hair back and took some photos. DiMaggio, holding a cigarette, followed her with his gaze as she walked down the street before returning to his table where he finished his tea. DiMaggio, at age fifty-one, no longer played before fifty-thousand fans at Yankee Stadium, but people still flocked to see him. Only DiMaggio never felt comfortable talking with people, least of all a writer who wanted to delve into his private life, something he guarded at all costs. DiMaggio sneaked into a back room when the writer entered the restaurant, spoiling any chance for an interview.

Gay Talese never had a chance to interview DiMaggio, but that did not stop him from writing a profile that has set the standard for all others. In fact, �The Silent Season of a Hero,� was named the greatest sports article of the Twentieth Century by David Halberstam and Glenn Stout, editors of The Best American Sports Writing of the Century.

I've read way too many profiles where the only person interviewed was the person featured. That's a terrible approach. The person profiled should be the last person you speak with. Instead, gather stories from others who are less guarded in offering information and insights. Friends and family are usually more than willing to gab about one another -- even if the stories are embarrassing. (And embarrassing stories can reveal much about a person, just as stories that show the bad side of someone yield much. Remember, nobody is all good or all bad, so do not create a person who is so one-dimensional. You might, though, if you only speak with the person interviewed.) More than a few years ago, I read a wonderful profile on Patrick Ewing that did not include a single quote from the Knicks all-star center. I believe the great Gary Smith wrote that piece for Sports Illustrated. (I'm about to start Beyond The Game, a collection of Smith's wonderful stories through the years.)

In the piece on DiMaggio, Talese found a way to write about his subject in ways that, ultimately, proved superior to the traditional manner in which so many reporters approach profile stories. (He also wrote a tremendous profile on Frank Sinatra, another person who refused to speak with him, that is featured in The Gay Talese Reader: Portraits and Encounters, a book that offers many lessons in how to write a profile story. One should observe, research and interview. That Talese did not interview the protagonists of these stories does not matter. (In fact, this is a strength of these pieces. Who cares what Sinatra and DiMaggio say about themselves? What insights can they offer that hasn�t been stated before? Plus, can we really believe what they say? Their disdain and distance makes these stories all the more appealing and intriguing.) Talese interviewed countless others who know these men instead.

Talese is a keen observer, taking in details others might have missed, like DiMaggio lighting up his fifth cigarette in the past half hour. In addition, Talese clearly researched these people, as any good reporter, by reading what others had reported on these two men. These other articles and interviews help inform the main story, supplying insights into how these men had acted in the past. Finally, though, it is the writing style that sets these stories apart. Talese tells the stories through the eyes of others, shifting the mind�s eye from fishermen to waiters to fetching middle-aged women to press agents.

Talese researches well. He find stories that essentially fill in the blanks, that help to explain and convey ideas and points. So when Talese talks about Sinatra�s personal touch with friends, readers can see Sinatra in action. Talese could have stopped after the first sentence; instead, Talese finds examples to illustrate his point:

�Sinatra does things personally. At Christmastime, he will personally pick dozens of presents for his close friends and family, remembering the type of jewelry they like, their favorite colors, the sizes of their shirts and dresses. When a musician friend�s house was destroyed and his wife was killed in a Los Angeles mud slide a little more than a year ago, Sinatra personally came to his aid, finding the musician a new home, paying whatever hospital bills were left unpaid by the insurance, then personally supervising the furnishing of the new home down to the replacing of silverware, the linen, the purchase of new clothing� (Talese 24-25).

Talese does not always cite his sources, but it is clear that he speaks to many people, everyone from friends of those profiled to those who are more distant, like an acquaintance or a golf club manager. In �The Silent Season of a Hero,� for example, Talese writes that DiMaggio works hard to keep in shape. Talese shows this through the eyes of others.

�He tried hard to remain as he was � he diets, he takes steam baths, he is careful; and flabby men in the locker rooms of golf clubs sometimes steal peeks at him when he steps out of the shower, observing the tight muscles across his chest, the flat stomach, the long sinewy legs� (Talese 109).

Had Talese stated these facts himself, the story would have been far less interesting. The fact that others see DiMaggio in this manner (especially that they steal peaks in the shower) shows how DiMaggio looks in a more fascinating manner. Talese does not rely on his own point of view when creating these portraits (not that he remains silent. He invokes the first person a few times in both pieces), telling the reader how to think. Instead, Talese shows. He shows DiMaggio through the eyes of the fishermen on the famous San Francisco wharf. He also shows Sinatra through the eyes of his agent. And he even shows what New York is really like through the eyes of a popular masseuse and a cop talking a potential jumper from the George Washington Bridge in another story, �New York is a City of Things Unnoticed.�

Talese feels comfortable hanging out and revealing what he sees. He is also skilled in doing the leg work that reveals so much back story. And he also seems at ease allowing others to tell some of these stories. Talese does not need to speak with those he profiles. Instead, he can talk to those who really know the score.

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Thursday, March 8, 2007

Some great lessons


Here's the third of a series of reviews on sports books that focus on issues related to the craft of sports reporting and writing. This review is of Mark Frost�s THE GREATEST GAME EVER TOLD.

Frost used considerable source material, such as newspapers articles, books, memoirs, archived notes and conversations to write his book about the 1913 U.S. Open golf championship. The Greatest Game Ever Played is based upon historical documents, such as newspaper articles, journals and recorded conversations.

Some of Frost�s reporting goes against traditional journalistic methods. But this can lead to discussions about New Journalism (which is actually middle-aged), about reporting techniques, and about the challenge to report the truth.

Here�s what Frost wrote in an introduction:
�In employing dialogue to bring these scenes to life, I used source material for direct attribution whenever possible. In its occasional absence I attempted to infer intent from prose to reportage, remaining as true as possible to what I understood to be the spirit of the moment. In rare exceptions, with a dramatist�s license, and in the utter want of eyewitness, I took the liberty of elaborating on those perceptions beyond what I could absolutely verify. It is my hope and belief that in no instance did I violate the underlying truths, laboring only to illuminate them.�

Said Frost: �I attempted to infer intent from reportage, remaining as true as possible to what I understood to be the spirit of the moment.� Frost also admits to elaborating on points he could not verify, although he said he believes that he did not violate the �underlying truths� of the story he tells. But what is truth? And how can one �elaborate,� or imagine, what one cannot see when developing a story. Without dialogue, interior monologue and key descriptions, a story can slip into unexciting, clinical exposition. As a journalist, I would never conceive of employing such tactics to telling a story. As a writer developing a book of non-fiction, I have become intrigued by the thought of inferring, or imagining, what I cannot find.

In his book, Frost tells the story of the 1913 U.S. Open golf tournament, an event rife with drama, tension, historical importance and great characters. Much has been written about this event and the men who played it. Much has also remained unrecorded. Additionally, there is some skepticism about some of the moments that were recorded. For example, who would have accurately recorded the following conversation during a driving rainstorm and during a historical period when summary trumped direct quotations in newspaper accounts?

Frost adds conversation that had never been reported � and, perhaps, had never even said. Here is a sampling:

�Francis, Francis,� said Hoyt, out of breath.
Oh, no, though Eddie. Not this joker again.
�You won�t believe it: Vardon just came in with seventy-eight. Ray shot seventy-six, and Reid�s gone completely, blown up sky-high���
�Thanks, Frank, that�s good to know.�
�But you know what this means, don�t you?�
�Yeah, we�ve got a pretty good idea,� said Eddie, trying to cut him off.
�You should see what�s going on back at the clubhouse. Pandemonium!� said Frank, ignoring the little caddie. �Everybody�s talking about it, what are you now, four under?�
�Three,� said Eddie quickly.
�Bogeyed five,� said Francis, picking up the pace.
�Well then let me think a second �� said Frank, taking out a scorecard on which he�d written some notes. �That puts you three under for the day, even par for the tournament �� good Lord, you�re two strokes clear of Ray, you�re four ahead of Vardon. You�ve passed them both, Francis. You�ve got a two-shot lead� (Frost 314-315).

Dialogue like this is peppered throughout the story. So when and how to craft dialogue that is unrecorded? As a reader, I am willing to suspend belief so long as the facts are correct. This conversation, like many, is driven by the facts of the story. First, Hoyt is a real person. Second, factual information drives this conversation. We learn Francis� score and where he stands in regards to other golfers in the tournament. That�s easily verifiable information. In addition, Hoyt comments about the people back at the clubhouse. Fans were going crazy when Francis won, at least according to reports of the time. So Hoyt is fine to say the clubhouse is in �pandemonium.� There is certainly some imagining going on in this passage. It�s easy to imagine Hoyt pulling out a scorecard to calculate the scores; and, it�s also easy to imagine Francis answering calmly since most stories on his life seem to indicate that was his nature. The reader also listens in on the thoughts of Eddie, a 10-year-old caddie. It�s easy to imagine Eddie thinking Hoyt is a joker for running onto the fairway to bother them as they walked toward the next hole.

Did Hoyt actually interrupt them as they played, though? That is unclear. This does not bother me since it is a minor event and since the scene does not divert from the main facts of the story. I would not have created such a scene as a newspaper reporter. But here, I understand Frost�s motives. The conversation drives the story, breaking up longer passages of third-person omniscient explanations and expositions. These conversations draw in the reader.


Bibliography
Frost, Mark. The Greatest Game Ever Played. New York: Hyperion, 2002.


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Thursday, March 1, 2007

Go long in sports feature leads

Writing a sports feature is like writing a short story � except we do not make up any of the facts. Story, not news, drives these features. That means you need to grab readers quickly in a lead that tells a compelling story or introduces an interesting character. Too often, reporters go short in leads.

Yes, lengthy, rambling leads can be a problem, but not if reported and written properly. From time to time, consider going long.

The writer of the following story focused on an interesting topic � how hairstyles affect athletes� performances on the field and in pools. This writer lead with a single person�s story. Again, a solid job.

Yet.

This writer could have developed the lead in more detail, allowing the reader to see and feel the worries this athlete had. Do not be afraid to go deeper in leads -- if the story or scene is compelling. Leads can certainly get out of control, wandering and wandering while the reader also wanders and wonders: What the heck is this story about? But you�ll never know if you do not try.

Here is the original lead.

Eastern sophomore running back Norris Smith has dreadlocks to worry about. Defenders could pull his hair in trying for a tackle and it is legal.

But, he said it has never happened.

To get the dreadlocks Smith said he threads them up and lets them grow out.

Smith said to get them to stay that way, he has to wash his hair and do the normal things when it comes to hair care.

Norris said his dreadlocks are all natural and sometimes it takes one to two years to grow out.

He said this process is called the �lock and twist.�

There is another way for dreads to grow.

Smith said he can put weave in his hair and it will only take four to five months to grow out, but it�s not natural.

Dreads are not the concern for rugby player and track athlete Samantha Manto.

�In one of the (rugby) games last year, a girl was trying to pull me back by my jersey; she got my hair,� Manto said.

Most of Eastern�s rugby players don�t have to worry about hair, since most of their hair is short. They have to pull their hair through helmets, though.


Here is a possible revision, one that remains focused on the athlete's concerns about dreadlocks. I have also added a nut graph.

Norris Smith worries about his dreadlocks.

They flow out from under his helmet, scraping against his neck and bouncing off his shoulder pads.

They are a great target.

Smith, a sophomore running back at Eastern, has already had his head yanked back a few times when defensive tackles and linebackers had grabbed his face mask. Smith knows defenders grab anything they can hold onto.

The face mask yanks cost teams fifteen yards in penalties. But pulling his dreads won�t cost a team a single yard.

It hasn�t happened yet, but he is still concerned. But not enough to cut them.

Hair is a concern in many sports. Swimmers shave their heads (and other body parts) before big meets. Wrestlers and rugby players keep their hair cropped so it does not get pulled. And baseball coaches believe sloppy hair and wild beards can lead to equally wild, erratic play on the field.

Smith, though, is willing to face his fears on the field in order to keep his dreadlocks.


Make sure you drop in a nut graph on sports feature stories like this. The nut graph serves as both a thesis statement and a reminder, telling readers the reasons a reporter is writing this particular story. Essentially, the nut graph says, �The point of this story is �� In the story above, the thesis begins: �Hair is a concern in many sports.�

On your next feature, do the extra reporting and go long. But don�t forget the nut graph.

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